A few days ago Grace McDunnough wrote about social norms in Second Life and how they seem to have been eroding away with the influx of new people. This got me thinking once again about the decline of society in Second Life. Sure I'm just a bit jaded, but it was good to see other with similar viewpoints. There are a lot of us, roughly 100,000ish that arrived before the big boom of residents. I came in at the 100,000 resident mark. Grace says she arrived at about 150,000. Life really was much different then. And I won't say it was necessarily better. There was still drama, but each of us did feel like we could make a bit of a difference in the world. I think that feeling alone gave us a better warm and fuzzy than one can get today when the population is so high.

Of course we don't really have 6 bajillion people signing in to Second life at one time (though many will claim that it certainly feels like it some days), but the waters have definitely been thinned a bit. Back when I entered the world, I was happy being my fairly laid back self and still being recognized for having a contribution to make. It was definitely one of the reasons I loved Second Life so much. I was able to have my voice heard (I say that a lot) by others who were fairly like-minded, and given a shot at actually doing something. My first month into Second Life I was given the task of building the set for Dolmere's new game show. A few months later I was the building manager for Second Life's Third Birthday event (SL3B! I'm still proud to have coined that one and see it carry through today. My one lasting contribution). I was included with a group of Mentors to develop a plan of action in cleaning up the Second Life Mentor group and fixing the woes that were becoming more and more present, not that it helped (see also: talk to the hand). The point was, I was brand new, but I was included.

Now we fast forward to the end of the year. One million residents hit, and it didn't stop there. The Shelter, where I called home, was flooded with people. New Citizens, Inc. was also flooded. The environment was changing, and changing fast. It was too difficult to assist anyone, the turnover rate was simply far too high. Most of the old residents who wished to help became jaded in one way or another. New residents didn't want help very often, and the ones that did had to wade along with the vast influx of other new folks. Their own voices not being heard simply because there was too much to hear.

Now once we got our flood of new people, instead of people being recognized on their own merits, you were just another drip in the ocean. When we have this sort of population, to get recognized you have to promote yourself. We begin to see more and more of the "hey, look at me!" types, and miss out on the quiet and talented individuals. We move from a world of inclusion, to one of exclusion. I doubt very seriously that I would've received the opportunities that I did in today's world. There are too many others that will stand in front of you and push their own way ahead to get noticed and recognized.

Am I bashing the "look at me crowd"? Probably a bit. They're not bad people, of course, but they're looking out for themselves and making sure they get as much as they can, whether it be attention, jobs, friends, etc. The quiet ones are off somewhere on their own, working on their own project, finding others (hopefully) with similar interests and having a bit of fun. But they're not being actively included. In fact, they often impose a self-exclusion because they don't gel with the other personality types. I know I've bowed out of projects because I have to deal with someone who is all hyped up on their own skills and brags constantly. My only real joy has been when I'm told, some time later when I took another shot at helping, that my work was far superior than anything they'd ever seen. I imagine that is the case for many out there. It's just that the really gifted people typically don't brag about it.

This is what happens when you have a sea of people flooding in, of course. But it's also a statement towards society outside of Second Life as well. The Second Life world has become more in tune with the RL one. And that's where I have a bit of a rub. Second Life was a bit idyllic when I arrived, and I miss it. There were just as many problems, yes. We didn't have all the bells and whistles. The Linden's didn't listen to us much more than they do now (Torley always listened and tried to help). But the people that wanted to make a difference could make a difference.

Back to Grace's original post, the social norms within Second Life are changing, and not for the better. It's a lack of education that keeps the new people from understanding or even realizing that they're crossing lines that they shouldn't. And because the masses are more massive than the rest of us (by definition) their norms overrule ours. We are mocked or frowned upon if we want to keep a bit of privacy. As someone that has an avatar that is of the opposite gender, I can understand those that don't want certain details knows. While I don't support misleading others and getting into a deceptive online relationship, there is a certain amount of freedom that Second Life provides, which is taken away when people want to know all about your real life. The inclusion of voice, while I still agree can be fun in small circles of friends, is misused as a group. If you're in a place where the majority are using voice and you are not, you are excluded. It's up to the place, of course, but it's a direction I don't like. Instead of the world being as inclusive as it once was, we've been given more tools to exclude.

Now I've started thinking about society outside of Second Life as much as within it. Society is relying more and more on the Internet for communication. I've used the Internet for oh so many years, so I'm on board with the connection to the world. But, at least in the US, it's created a bit of a monster. With the anonymity that the Internet provides and the distance from others that is its nature, people are emboldened to say and do things they wouldn't in a face to face environment. They don't want a differing view, or are at least more secure in their own view to argue. But people typically haven't been trained to argue. So what breaks out are outright fights instead of intelligent debates. Combine this with, and I'm sorry if I offend, the "computer geek" crowd which already lacks good social skills, and you're just stirring up trouble.

Of course, the population of the US has also become flooded with those that feel entitled to everything. They carry that into the Internet as well. So what we have are a bunch of people that don't have a lot of social skills wanting desperately to get some attention, and who feel entitled because they believe they are better than the rest. Shake and stir and we get drama.

This isn't a Second Life problem, this happens everywhere. Of course, I've yet to really meet someone with real talent that bragged about it. Have you noticed in movies and television that common story where the braggart is an idiot? We all know it, we all see it, but he/she gets ahead. Thankfully, in the end, our quiet hero has their just revenge or is finally recognized for their efforts. It's a good message, but ironically this rarely happens in real life or Second Life.

Speaking somewhat relatedly, I know a number of people that simply want to get out of the computer industry because of these same problems. Where it was once a quiet few of us that could do some really amazing things and make a difference in the world. It has become flooded with everyone who made a web page once and are therefore programming geniuses. Those of us with talent have been cast aside in favor of those who make a lot of noise. I've even seen companies actually come out and say they'd rather hire three mediocre programmers than one good one. Because it's easier to find mediocrity and when one leaves, another will be able to fill their place more easily. How's that for encouragement?

I suppose what I am trying to get at is that society as a whole has changed. I don't typically have a bleak outlook on life. I've always been optimistic and believe that things work out. But I do see Second Life now becoming a more accurate reflection on real life and I think that's where one of my biggest complaints comes from. I realize it's going to happen, but it was nice to be among peers for a while, and I don't think it's unnatural to think fondly back to those days. I know those people are still out there. I just wish I knew where to find them. If you're one of them, come say hi.

So what does this have to do with the original social norms topic? Probably not a lot. It's more of an analysis of the changes I've seen in Second Life. I know I would like to make a continued effort to help out and educate. There are good people out there that simply don't know better. And they are willing to listen and learn and even pass the knowledge on. It can happen, but it will take a lot of work. It's an uphill battle. Who's prepared?